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Breakups Top Tip #7 Lessons Learned

2019-07-31T02:27:30+00:00

My first boyfriend was 6 years older than me and everyone loved him.  My family thought he was good for me because he was stable and kind. My friends were jealous because where their boyfriends were immature kids, my boyfriend lived on his own with a stable job.  He was all of these things and more. He was stable, he was kind and he was mature. He would take me shopping and he loved nothing more than to buy me a new outfit. He had a second car that was a volkswagon bug and he patiently taught me how to [...]

Breakups Top Tip #7 Lessons Learned2019-07-31T02:27:30+00:00

Top Tip #6 Take Care of Yourself

2019-07-30T01:56:17+00:00

Immediately after a break up it is very common for us to go through a difficult time.  We may feel stunned and disconnected from reality a bit. We may find our passion for things is greatly reduced.  We may not feel excited about things as much and notice our energy level is much lower than normal. People describe wanting to sleep more, not sleep at all, drink more, eat more or not eat at all, and a loss of interest in day to day activities. On paper these symptoms mirror depression in many cases.  For most of us these feelings [...]

Top Tip #6 Take Care of Yourself2019-07-30T01:56:17+00:00

Breakup Tip #5 Unhelpful Inner Voice

2019-07-28T21:26:45+00:00

We all have that internal voice that speaks to us.  Sometimes it can be helpful and be a guiding force in what choice to make in a situation.  Other times it can be a running dialog of unhelpful chatter in our head that keeps us from making a decision.   Is your internal voice filled with negative and judgmental statements about you?  Are you thinking about all of the ways that you screwed up or didn’t live up to expectations?  I don’t know about you, but my internal voice at 2am is frequently quite negative and unhelpful.  It confuses me, plays [...]

Breakup Tip #5 Unhelpful Inner Voice2019-07-28T21:26:45+00:00

Breakup Tip #3 Acceptance

2019-07-27T01:37:37+00:00

Change is hard at any time.  We tend to avoid it because it brings up our insecurities and can require large amounts of confidence.  When we are contemplating making a change we may question our ability to handle the change we are considering.  A new job, a move, and even a hairstyle change can provoke anxiety. So add change into the mix when we are going through a breakup and we can be frozen and indecisive.  Most of us aren’t feeling our most confident or secure when a relationship is ending. We can vacillate between thinking we are doing the [...]

Breakup Tip #3 Acceptance2019-07-27T01:37:37+00:00

Breakup Tip #2-Be Honest

2019-07-26T00:43:48+00:00

Have you ever had a good friend break up with someone you couldn’t stand?  Suddenly you feel free to speak truthfully about what you think of that person.  You tell your friend how their ex wasn’t good enough for them and how they always really annoyed you... AND THEN THEY GET BACK TOGETHER!!!! It can be so awkward to have had the honest conversation with someone only to find they seem to have forgiven all and are happy and in love again.  We are amazed at how the friend has forgotten all of the negatives about this partner they had [...]

Breakup Tip #2-Be Honest2019-07-26T00:43:48+00:00

Breakups

2019-07-25T01:19:08+00:00

A relationship breakup can be extremely painful and difficult to recover from.  Many of us have gone through it and although there is no one right answer, there are some tips we can all use to help us survive.  I get asked for advice on how to “get over a breakup” frequently and unfortunately there are no easy answers and there is no one way. However, there are things we can do to move us in the right direction toward recovery.  Whether we just ended a 20 year marriage or a summer romance, we can all use some assistance in [...]

Breakups2019-07-25T01:19:08+00:00

I can just live with it

2019-05-05T15:26:43+00:00

Years ago I began to get a nagging pain in my leg.  At times it would randomly feel better but rarely if ever was the pain completely gone.  Even when the sharp pain wasn’t around, the ache was present, like a shadow or a warning that the pain was still there, waiting to strike when I least expected it. The pain wasn’t remarkable, I’m sure many people have felt similar if not worse pain, but it did at times, keep me from walking far.  What was remarkable was the way I chose to deal with it. I guess, you could [...]

I can just live with it2019-05-05T15:26:43+00:00

Is it Happiness I am looking for?

2019-04-21T20:19:43+00:00

I woke up happy today.   The feeling of excitement and possibility mixed with a dash of contentment was humming inside my chest when I opened my eyes today.  As I made coffee the feeling continued, making the chore effortless. As the milk warmed and I heard the steady stream of coffee percolating, I took a deep breath and enjoyed the moment.   But then my mind started to work.   You know that revving up of the engine that is our brain as it begins to think about what you have to do today, what you didn’t get done [...]

Is it Happiness I am looking for?2019-04-21T20:19:43+00:00

Therapist or Life Coach?

2019-03-24T22:32:15+00:00

The other day I was having a conversation with someone about their therapy experience and I asked them what it was they found most and least helpful about the process.  They shared many useful insights but there was one thing they mentioned that I felt was very interesting. They mentioned they wished they had a therapist that worked both as a therapist and as a life coach.  We went on to talk a bit more about issues they thought were life coach problems and what things they believed were more appropriate for a therapist to tackle. This got me thinking [...]

Therapist or Life Coach?2019-03-24T22:32:15+00:00

Asking

2019-02-07T21:59:27+00:00

I’ve been thinking a lot about asking lately.  Asking for what you need from someone else. I don’t know about you but there are times when I seem to think I should get a badge of honor for going without what I need.  I recently heard myself say, “I’m finally asking because I’m desperate”. Why did I have to get desperate? The problem as I see it is we don’t want to feel vulnerable.  What if I ask and they say no? How terrible would I feel if I’ve managed to peel away my brave face and was told I [...]

Asking2019-02-07T21:59:27+00:00

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