I’ve always said that I learn as much from my clients as they do from me. The insights people share with me as they work on their mental health often inspire me and I believe help me to improve as a psychologist and a person. But ever so often people will share their dreams and goals and what they aspire to change and it also motivates me to take a look at myself and how I’m doing with my own mental wellness. Although it is communicated in many different ways, I often hear a statement like, “I want to be [...]
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So far Bonnie Wims has created 23 blog entries.
THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOME? In November of 2005, I left the United States and moved to London. I can still remember the site of my house in Massachusetts getting smaller and smaller out the back of the taxi window on that early chilly morning. Although I had been excited and motivated to move, I suddenly had a feeling of dizziness. As we were driving away from my Massachusetts ‘home’, another part of me was seemingly still inside that yellow house, struggling to catch up with the changes my body was making. It was as if ‘me’, or aspects of [...]
Sunshine Pigeons 3 men standing 6 feet apart from each other having a conversation on the sidewalk Several storefronts closed and dark My view from my home office window is different these days. Also gone is the sound of constant Manhattan traffic, the seemingly incessant sirens of police and ambulances, voices from commuters walking the sidewalk and the overall hum of a busy city street. Things are quiet (except my husband on a conference call in the other room...why is he yelling?). Funny how we often think this is exactly what we want. Don’t we all say, “if only I [...]
Negotiating where to go, which family to see, which traditions to include and what to leave out on the holidays can be tricky. Whether you are married or in a relationship that requires deciding which family you see for which holiday, or having to travel and needing to decide where and when to arrive, we can all be left feeling pushed and pulled in many directions. Feelings can get hurt, expectations aren’t always met and in the end, managing it all can almost spoil the entire season. Years ago when I lived close to my family, we would end up [...]
Several years ago when I had a young family, I attempted to host an extended family holiday dinner at my house. This is no small task, as I have 7 siblings and am the second to the youngest with several nieces and nephews too! I’m not sure what I was thinking about trying to take on this job but there I was, hosting over 25 people for the first time ever. Before I tell you about the disastrous events that took place that day, I want to back up a little bit. When I was a little girl I didn’t [...]
Brene Brown describes the phrase “comfort zone” as “where our uncertainty, scarcity, and vulnerability are minimized-where we believe we will have access to enough love, food, talent, time, admiration. Where we feel we have some control.” When described like that, it is no wonder that we don’t like to leave this special place called the “comfort zone”. Why would we intentionally challenge ourselves to move beyond where we feel we are safe and loved? Lately I’ve been feeling challenged by a few things and my anxiety is telling me to stay clear of anything new. I have pages full of [...]
It’s Just Not Fair Have you ever said those words to yourself? Maybe a relationship you cared about ended without warning? Maybe you lost a job or didn’t get a promotion? Or maybe you just had some bad luck and despite your hard work something failed miserably? We can struggle during these times and we tell ourselves that it shouldn’t have happened to us because we tried really hard, or we are a nice person and we had the best intentions, or even that we just felt like we finally deserve a break! However, the real challenge starts when we [...]
I recently moved house. Having moved several times before, I felt confident I knew what was ahead of me and thought if I stayed organized and prepared everything would be ok. Initially things were going well and one by one all of the “to do” items on my list began to be checked off. However, as moves go, it wasn’t without some anxious moments and stressful events. Having to find a different moving company 5 days before the scheduled move was difficult and I will admit caused me to take many deep breaths (and maybe even swear a little). In [...]
My first boyfriend was 6 years older than me and everyone loved him. My family thought he was good for me because he was stable and kind. My friends were jealous because where their boyfriends were immature kids, my boyfriend lived on his own with a stable job. He was all of these things and more. He was stable, he was kind and he was mature. He would take me shopping and he loved nothing more than to buy me a new outfit. He had a second car that was a volkswagon bug and he patiently taught me how to [...]
Immediately after a break up it is very common for us to go through a difficult time. We may feel stunned and disconnected from reality a bit. We may find our passion for things is greatly reduced. We may not feel excited about things as much and notice our energy level is much lower than normal. People describe wanting to sleep more, not sleep at all, drink more, eat more or not eat at all, and a loss of interest in day to day activities. On paper these symptoms mirror depression in many cases. For most of us these feelings [...]