Negotiating where to go, which family to see, which traditions to include and what to leave out on the holidays can be tricky. Whether you are married or in a relationship that requires deciding which family you see for which holiday, or having to travel and needing to decide where and when to arrive, we can all be left feeling pushed and pulled in many directions. Feelings can get hurt, expectations aren’t always met and in the end, managing it all can almost spoil the entire season. Years ago when I lived close to my family, we would end up [...]
About Bonnie WimsThis author has not yet filled in any details.
So far Bonnie Wims has created 20 blog entries.
Several years ago when I had a young family, I attempted to host an extended family holiday dinner at my house. This is no small task, as I have 7 siblings and am the second to the youngest with several nieces and nephews too! I’m not sure what I was thinking about trying to take on this job but there I was, hosting over 25 people for the first time ever. Before I tell you about the disastrous events that took place that day, I want to back up a little bit. When I was a little girl I didn’t [...]
Brene Brown describes the phrase “comfort zone” as “where our uncertainty, scarcity, and vulnerability are minimized-where we believe we will have access to enough love, food, talent, time, admiration. Where we feel we have some control.” When described like that, it is no wonder that we don’t like to leave this special place called the “comfort zone”. Why would we intentionally challenge ourselves to move beyond where we feel we are safe and loved? Lately I’ve been feeling challenged by a few things and my anxiety is telling me to stay clear of anything new. I have pages full of [...]
It’s Just Not Fair Have you ever said those words to yourself? Maybe a relationship you cared about ended without warning? Maybe you lost a job or didn’t get a promotion? Or maybe you just had some bad luck and despite your hard work something failed miserably? We can struggle during these times and we tell ourselves that it shouldn’t have happened to us because we tried really hard, or we are a nice person and we had the best intentions, or even that we just felt like we finally deserve a break! However, the real challenge starts when we [...]
I recently moved house. Having moved several times before, I felt confident I knew what was ahead of me and thought if I stayed organized and prepared everything would be ok. Initially things were going well and one by one all of the “to do” items on my list began to be checked off. However, as moves go, it wasn’t without some anxious moments and stressful events. Having to find a different moving company 5 days before the scheduled move was difficult and I will admit caused me to take many deep breaths (and maybe even swear a little). In [...]
My first boyfriend was 6 years older than me and everyone loved him. My family thought he was good for me because he was stable and kind. My friends were jealous because where their boyfriends were immature kids, my boyfriend lived on his own with a stable job. He was all of these things and more. He was stable, he was kind and he was mature. He would take me shopping and he loved nothing more than to buy me a new outfit. He had a second car that was a volkswagon bug and he patiently taught me how to [...]
Immediately after a break up it is very common for us to go through a difficult time. We may feel stunned and disconnected from reality a bit. We may find our passion for things is greatly reduced. We may not feel excited about things as much and notice our energy level is much lower than normal. People describe wanting to sleep more, not sleep at all, drink more, eat more or not eat at all, and a loss of interest in day to day activities. On paper these symptoms mirror depression in many cases. For most of us these feelings [...]
We all have that internal voice that speaks to us. Sometimes it can be helpful and be a guiding force in what choice to make in a situation. Other times it can be a running dialog of unhelpful chatter in our head that keeps us from making a decision. Is your internal voice filled with negative and judgmental statements about you? Are you thinking about all of the ways that you screwed up or didn’t live up to expectations? I don’t know about you, but my internal voice at 2am is frequently quite negative and unhelpful. It confuses me, plays [...]
Change is hard at any time. We tend to avoid it because it brings up our insecurities and can require large amounts of confidence. When we are contemplating making a change we may question our ability to handle the change we are considering. A new job, a move, and even a hairstyle change can provoke anxiety. So add change into the mix when we are going through a breakup and we can be frozen and indecisive. Most of us aren’t feeling our most confident or secure when a relationship is ending. We can vacillate between thinking we are doing the [...]
Have you ever had a good friend break up with someone you couldn’t stand? Suddenly you feel free to speak truthfully about what you think of that person. You tell your friend how their ex wasn’t good enough for them and how they always really annoyed you... AND THEN THEY GET BACK TOGETHER!!!! It can be so awkward to have had the honest conversation with someone only to find they seem to have forgiven all and are happy and in love again. We are amazed at how the friend has forgotten all of the negatives about this partner they had [...]