Don’t Go To Therapy For Someone Else’s Advice; Go To Find Your Own Answers

Date : May 3, 2023 Duration: 22:22 min

A common myth about therapy is that therapists offer their patients advice. This is actually something that therapists are not supposed to do, as it gives away your power to someone else. Therapists are not trained to be expert advice-givers or to dish out solutions to problems.  Rather, therapists are trained to deeply listen and serve as a guide for you to explore within and discover your own answers. When seeking therapy, the goal is to build a trusting relationship not only with your therapist, but more importantly with yourself. This allows you to explore your own feelings, safely and with support so you can make decisions that are right for you. While it may be tempting to ask a therapist for advice, this actually goes against the objective of therapy. The ‘right’ answers and the solutions that are best for you come from finding that place within where you trust yourself and recognize that you are in control of your own life!


Society has led us to believe that therapy is for those with deep-seated issues and that it’s not for those of us who are “successful and stable”. The Therapy: Deconstructed podcast, hosted by Dr. Bonnie Wims, debunks the myths and societal beliefs about therapy and explains not only what therapy is, but also how it can help anyone who’s facing obstacles in their lives.

As a therapist, coach, and a UK Chartered Counseling Psychologist specializing in helping the global community, Dr. Bonnie has helped innumerable people get from where they are to where they’d like to be. She’s “your someone else” who is there for you when you need to bounce things off of so that you can better understand yourself. And she does it in a warm and intelligent style that’s peppered with levity.

Listen in each week to Dr. Wims if you’re therapy-curious and get answers to all your questions about what therapy is, what it is not, and how therapy may be the x-factor you’ve been searching for.

🙅‍♀️ Why therapists should NOT give advice. 01:26
🤯 The shock to the system for all therapists who start training: everybody wants advice! 02:37
👩‍🎓 Student therapist placement and supervision: when the urge to help, along with the client asking for advice, led to failure. 04:22
🤩 Why your clinical therapist won’t give you advice: what is the therapeutic relationship? 08:19
🎯 You are the expert of you – we help you realize that. 11:51
✨ When we ask for advice, we don’t build trust within ourselves. 14:14
🌸 Learning to trust yourself: self-care is a highly used word, but what matters is giving yourself the gift of trusting yourself. 15:30
✅ Blaming the therapist vs. revealing your inner knowing and finding the answer within. 17:20
⚡ Listening and reflecting in therapy: the answer will always come from within you. 19:32

What Listeners Are Saying


Every month, I look forward to a new episode of Therapy Deconstructed. The way Bonnie weaves her own story through the episodes is captivating. She has a calm and nurturing voice, like the trusted friend you always turn to when you need solid advice. I always finish an episode feeling like she was talking directly to me.

Thomas MacInnes

As someone who had never gone to therapy, I found myself in a situation last year that was very sad, confusing and overwhelming for me and I was really unable to figure my way through it. I turned to Bonnie and she so graciously and effortlessly (seemingly) had so much empathy and compassion for my feelings and she truly helped me navigate getting my emotions and really my life back on track. I am very grateful for Bonnie and her wisdom, honesty, humor, candor but mostly for her compassion. I’m excited to listen to her podcast but would highly encourage anyone who is reading this to reach out to her. She really helped me and I am very thankful to have her in my corner.


Dr. Wims makes therapy digestible and even fun to learn about. Sometime therapy feels like a big mystery and something super intimidating, but she breaks it down make it feel more personal and helpful.


I’m pretty particular about what podcasts I’ll tune into, but this one was recommended so I decided to check it out. Bonnie is a natural at this – she offers thoughtful insights into our thoughts and emotions and why we humans fall into unhelpful patterns, then provides simple wisdom on how to reframe them. Big fan.

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